Monday, December 31, 2007

The End is Near

And that means we must be doing a christmas special! The 2007 Proj-B Top Ten Of 2007. Keep the radio on.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Ugly-look Winter KHS

For full colour, you'll have to see it in person January 5th at the Burnaby 6-Day Noob Races, or on the street prior to then. The Ugly-look Winter KHS (c).

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Boxing Day Madness

I've taken to both the Cheetah and the Bianchi with Morgan's rotary tool.
The smell of hot iron filings lingers in my apartment.
What the rotary couldn't do, an old hand drill takes care of.
The stripped chuck key barely clamps the bit tight enough.
The Cheetah is ready for a 3/16" chain. Yes.
The Bianchi is ready for it's leather spats. Yes.
Projekt Black and Decker. Yes.

I'm debating leaving the house to procure supplies.
Its easier to just read bike design articles and listen to Richard D James.
You think Pacific Fasteners has a Boxing day sale?

Oh yeah, and I've measured my spoke keys.
Black Park = 3.28mm
Black Filzer = 3.22mm
DT Swiss Nipple = 3.24[+-0.01]mm
What the crap?
If there's one thing I hate, its having to modify a tool before it is used.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

"I don't really know the names of all the parts."

"New We The People forks. Don't know what they're called. But we got some pegs. This is a gyro thing. Holds cables."

Vital BMX attempts to get a bike check out of Dave Osato:

See More BMX Videos at

Friday, December 21, 2007

Ben Hurt II

Gabe in Portland has posters up for the second installation of Ben Hurt: Post-Apocalyptic Chariot Wars, as part of Mini Bike Winter 2008. Make sure you book the weekend of February 16th off; this will be worth the effort. for more info.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Don't be a mander kids, look out for cracks in the areas around your spoke nipples.

Part of Team Kommutard just took one for the team. Here's Andrew's story about the failure of a Sun Assault rim on the front of his Marinoni commuter fixie. We look forward to hearing about any replies from Sun's warranty department.
OK, this one happened this morning, coming west along the Adanac bikeway. i had just passed a roadie commuter going up a hill and was heading down the next dip, picking up speed for the Renfrew hill. Suddendly my front wheel got mushy and i went over the bars. As you can see from these pictures, my rim (Sun Assault, 1 year old, ~9000 kms) cracked. Then the commuter i had just passed rolled right by me without saying a word...maybe he thought i had stopped for a rest :( The casualties: my wheel, my fender, my nitto noodles, possibly my tire, and to some extent, me. I lost some flesh under my chin, got some road rash and hurt my back a bit. Luckily I wasn't hurt worse---it probably helped that the front end crumpled under me, lowering my center of gravity and getting me to slide across the road instead of slam into it. Oh well, that rim sucked anyway, the braking surface is way too small. Don't be a mander kids, look out for cracks in the areas around your spoke nipples.

Here's some cracking around a nipple a little ways off from the break.


My first day of blue sky as a free man! I remember long days of wondering what actual sunlight felt like, wishing I could just go out and ride my bike.
Well, thats what I'm going to do!
/me pumps up Cunny tires.

Same Old

On the controversial topic of bike shop markups, I just made what may possibly be the longest post in the history of fixedvan; it's the 31st post in this thread.

"I'd like to hear a good reason why I should pay the person I have contracted $90 of labour instead of $45 to do the exact same amount of work."

Monday, December 17, 2007


The tall bike came home today, towing the BOB trailer with my Marinoni on it. Though it is rideable, the new fork needs some more modification before I'll feel safe riding hard on it. I'm happy with the day's work, though. The fork looks great, and the 27" wheel barely clears the Miele's original fork crown.

Why can't I ride it? I chose to omit the upper headset cup on the bottom frame, as it made the fork build more complicated and made servicing the headset actually impossible. As it turns out, that bearing was doing more than I thought; the squishy feeling is only amplified by the more powerful Miele caliper.

I'll post some detail shots soon; I hope to find a solution to this problem that doesn't involve building another new fork.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Fabrication Time

I drew a diagram of how I'd like to orchestrate the tall bike's new fork setup. I'm just currently deciding between two and three headset cups. Updates to come after the weekend; hopefully there will be a Mielgeot back in the house.

I can't remember what happened to the Kona Project-Two fork that I had, but I'm thinking it would be pretty beefy if the Miele fork gets out of alignment.

Friday, December 14, 2007


Godmode engaged

Today is officially "Harden the fuck up day".

Dismount to flail. Bag snagged. Hoooooon!

Wrench. with sparks on it. What?

Last Commute. EVER.

I had forgotten that were textbooks in my desk. I felt I should keep them. Combined with the shoes, extra clothes, and other office odds and ends, I was in for a slow ride. Not to mention the emotional drainage of leaving that place. My Welgo pedals are destroyed again. This time its the bearing. I think one of them lost a seal a while back. It made odd chirps that reminded me of 'Dancer in the Dark'. My shoulder was burning by the time I creaked up to the crest of the hill at 37th.

I went left to visit Morgan at Fra-33. He offered a french press. Having not been able to stomach coffee earlier in the day, I gladly accepted.

I ended up taking Glen home. It was slower. I was slower. I wonder why I didn't try this block before.

Everything else was textbook.

Monday, December 10, 2007

I <3 Japan


Performance Comhooning: Having your tire blowout while you pilot the cunny down a 20% grade slope of sheer icy terror. Full hoon?
I haven't even eaten breakfast yet.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

16" GT Pro Tour

On a tip from Sailor this past week, Simon and I went to check out a 16" GT BMX. Excited about the prospect of a proper mini BMX like my Haro but from a different period, we arranged to meet up on a cold December evening. I got there first, and was totally blown away by the bike; if Simon didn't buy it, I would. It's a mostly-original 16" GT Pro Tour, which at this point I would estimate at early-to-mid-'90s vintage.

Locking Dia Compe Tech-77 levers - when was the last time you saw a pair of these? It should be mentioned that these hinged-clamp levers (in non-locking form) are still sold in the modern BMX world.

4130 Cro-Moly, Huntington Beach, CA - the real deal. Apart from some surface rust, the finish and original decals are in great shape.

Freestyle. Pink and Blue. Though the Compact Disc chainring is cool, I think it deserves one of my NOS GT 43T rings for a bit higher gear.

Pantographing, American BMX style. Check out the seat stays, which were carried through the entire GT line at the time.

Plastic wings logo saddle on a layback post which protrudes from that ever-so-period decade platform.

Doesn't it just make you want to get out and ride? This will be a great bike for Simon to learn tricks for Brakes while looking super stylish at the same time.

Though the bike is not immediately as aesthetically pleasing as the proportionally-correct 3/4 scale Haro, the shape does grow on you. More and more I am being reminded of looking through catalogues and watching videos from that period of BMX - in fact, I may actually have a GT "4130" video that I scored from a contest I organized in 1998.

In terms of its rideability, the first thing that needs attention is the brakes. The Dia Compe MX calipers were weak when new, and definitely don't work after years of sitting. A period-correct Bulldog caliper would probably provide more power, but would be hard to find (though who knows what Don's got hanging around).

Realistically, some new pads would do it well for now, and possibly a removal of the front caliper. In the future, I think a 990 plate would be great; with its aluminum rims, this thing would stop on a dime with modern brakes.

Next, the tires. Though the 16x1.75" Panaracer knobbies are rad, they don't deserve to be skidded out at Brakes practice. 1.95" width Maxxis Hookworms would be unobtrusive and therefore appropriate.

The bars are the widest I've seen on a 16" bike. Though it felt odd when I first jumped on, I'm now almost thinking they aren't that bad. In terms of period-correctness, they have a nice bend, and would be more comfortable than the Haro's 3/4 scale bars for riding any significant distance.

Overall, this bike was an awesome score. With a some cleaning, repacking, and a few new parts, Simon will want to ride it wherever he goes - including at this year's Mini Bike Winter Olympics in Portland. Hello, Zoobomb!

Saturday, December 08, 2007


This is the first time I've seen a retro-direct bike on the CL. What a weird contraption; I wonder what else Richmond Cycle's unloading.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Hollywood Holt - Throw a Kit

"moped + ape hangers = easy sex" - Zombie Carl

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


You want silly new products?!?!



Without actually trying this product, here are my thoughts:

-can 'grind' anything
(...and I put 'grind' in single quotes because you won't get that satisfying grinding sound that is associated with grinding)

-ice and toothpicks become MUCH harder
-cannot incorporate any flatland tricks
-heavier than a normal peg
-dropping the bike on them will surely blow out the cartridge bearings
-no more sparks (the best thing about grinding at night)
-the anodized aluminum will look like crap after rolling along a concrete ledge
-its already been done (by Fishbone)

Sure, there are some gnar ledges around town I wouldn't mind hitting, but I know I wont even slide if I get onto them. I guess I could drop $100 to try... Or maybe if Spilljuice wants to send Proj-B a set for evaluation, we could attempt that block long horizontal rail at Victoria Park. uhh yeah. Next step, ultra-lite suicide loller PLEGS?

At this point I should probably note that my MacNeil heat treated 4130 pegs are still going strong after 4 years of use.

This is exactly the sort of product/company that makes me think I should be designing BMX parts. Do it better.


All kinds of awesome. I keep thinking about this, and the legality of it.

According to section 119 of the BC MVA:
"cycle" means a device having any number of wheels that is propelled by human power and on which a person may ride and includes a motor assisted cycle, but does not include a skate board, roller skates or in-line roller skates;

The Ontario Ministry of Transport says:
A bicycle is a vehicle that:
-has steering handlebars and is equipped with pedals
-is designed to be propelled by muscular power
-has no age restriction for operators
-can be operated on most roadways (e.g., not allowed to travel on 400 series highways)
-cannot be operated across a roadway within a pedestrian cross-over

A "low-speed vehicle" means a vehicle, other than an all-terrain vehicle, a truck or a vehicle imported temporarily for special purposes, that:
-is powered by an electric motor,

Okay, so its not a bicycle, and its not a Low speed vehicle.. so what is it?

Slow moving vehicles
(2) The following are slow moving vehicles:
1. Farm tractors and self-propelled implements of husbandry.
2. Vehicles (other than bicycles, motor assisted bicycles and disabled motor vehicles in tow) that are not capable of attaining and sustaining a speed greater than 40 kilometres per hour on level ground when operated on a highway. 1994, c. 28, s. 1.

Slow moving vehicle sign
76. (1) No person shall operate a slow moving vehicle on a highway unless a slow moving vehicle sign is attached, in accordance with the regulations,
(a) to the rear of the slow moving vehicle, if no trailer, implement of husbandry or other device is being towed;
(b) to the rear of the rearmost trailer, implement of husbandry or other device that is being towed by the slow moving vehicle, if one or more trailers, implements or other devices are being towed. 1994, c. 28, s. 1; 2002, c. 18, Sched. P, s. 21 (1).

So, According to everything I'm reading here, this car would be perfectly legal to cruise around Toronto if there was an orange triangle on the back. Rad.

For the Roadies

"Hello all that were on the [x] ride today. I had had several reports that there were flats on this ride and people did not have pumps or spares. You must have 2 spare tubes and a pump that works on all rides. No excuses. Secondly, while I was not on the ride I can imagine some of these flats may have been caused by either older worn out tires or riders using race oriented tires. For winter riding it is also mandatory to have all equipment in good working order and the proper equipment. Please replace any tires that are worn or take off race tires and put on winter type heavy duty training tires. Any tire that has the words " race, lite, light, ultralight" etc on the sidewall means they do not stand up to all the debris that is on the side of the road in winter due to rain and snow. Save these for races. Make sure you are prepared for next week as [y] can get angry like a bear." - [z] listserv

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Bridge Battle start sequence

The guy in front of me goes down, and I'm just able to steer around his head after clearing the tracks. Haley then hooks her front tire and goes down, followed by Tom.

This was the first pile up on Granville island. The second one was a block down on the next set of tracks.

Lift the front. Slide the back.
I called it.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

..approaching terminal velocity

Team awesome. Product Bloggin. Clothing rides. Ice on the bike routes. Stuck in the computor. FIST FITTING. Hand built bike show. Minibike whatever. Bridge battlez. Ratchet trouble.

Gah. Too many tracks to keep straight. Its like Granville island in here. Converging and diverging, just a centimeter above the pavement. Lift the front tire and slide the back. Holy crap. My life is exploding right now. I almost want to steal the Kisby format and throw this shit down in chronological order.

One. Team Awesome. Don't look too awesome at the start, in fact, they look like regular hipsters. However, they're planning on riding from Portland to Florida on their fixed gears. Having done SOME fixed touring, I know its a biatch. I wonder if they're BOBbin, panneirding, or credit card touring. Either way. it looks like an awesome ride.. though I don't know how cycle friendly the south will be to them. Not sure how many of those little toe tags they'll be handing out down there.

Product blogging, I had something in mind for this. I could be talking about a sick new machined part, or hyping up someone else's stuff, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment. Perhaps it could be about the clothing, and the rides.. Down in LA they have this ride called 'The Wolfpack Hustle', and from what I understand, its the equivalent to our 'Fast Nights'. Just a quick non spandex group hoon through the city at night. Wait.. its NOT JUST A QUICK RIDE. For their one year anniversary, they just did a Century around LA, at night! That's pretty sick!

Now.. they've gone and branched out, teaming up with some clothing manufacturers and made some Wolfpack hustle gear. I really like this idea in theory. They came up with a cool logo and everything.. the only thing I don't like about it is the branding. X-Hustle top tube cozy, reversible to just display the XLARGE brand? Gross. I like riding in cotton as much as the next douche, but all these hot collabs with skatewear brands are gettin under my skin. Mash*Stussy everyone? I thought Stussy died long ago.

Cadence? They're jumping in and making some nice stuff, and it is pretty original for the most part.. and they're doing it without major brand power behind them. I guess I'm alright with that. Its more like Simon's midnight mass patches of last year. Dee Eye to the Y. Their new line is in the thermal department. Arm warmers and toques. Not bad.

Tuesday was not the day to have misplaced my toque. Perhaps if it had some graphic hand screened on it, it would be easier to find. It was sheer ice on the commute. The ride had me counter steering, weight shifting, and generally easing on the pedals in either the forward or reverse direction. What was normally a routine ride was suddenly technical and challenging.

I made it through off camber left corners, wavy intersections, and neighbourhoods where people were holding onto their cars while trying to scrape the ice off. Coming down the hill I gently dragged the brake while fishtailing every half crank rotation, and managed to bring the bike to a stop before the stop line at Marine.

Feeling like hot shit I pretty much opened it up for the final flat towards work. Along the very last stretch of North Fraser Way I said 'Hi' to Sergiy, who just stepped off the bus and was about to cross the street.. then I leaned into the left hand corner to get into our parking lot.. forgetting that I was still going over 30km/h on ice.

At that moment I performed what can only be described as a break dancing ninja turtle slide alongside my bike as I sailed past the entrance to the parking lot, along the centre of the road. I quickly stumbled to my feet, collected my orientation, and dragged my Bianchi off the road like a rag doll.

Sergiy was laughing, and so was I. Its not often I get to do something so spectacular in front of people who will appreciate it.

That being said, I'm hoping for more bad weather. Enough to scare off the rest of the commuters (There are significantly more these days it seems). Enough to drive the bicycle dance groups underground. Enough to stop everyone but me and Mander from riding in the Bridge battle (THIS SATURDAY!) Enough that I can justify buying studded tires? Enough that I gear down my bike and put 45mm fenders on it? Enough that even I don't want to ride? Yeah.

And what will I do if I'm not riding? I guess I'll be sitting on the computer, stuck in this modeling program again, trying to figure out how to do a certain type of circular cut. Its really been bugging me lately, and has impeded my progress, but whenever I sit down to work on it, I don't seem to have the mental capacity to figure it out. I end up looking for solutions on the internets, then looking at bike stuff. (Like FIST FITTING! be hated on at a later date)

I need to be able to attack this stuff first thing in the morning... and I won't be able to do that until Dec 17th or so.. when I accidentally get up at 5am and get dressed to ride to my non existent job. I'm honestly scared I'll do that. I'll probably make it all the way to the door of the building before realizing I don't have a key card anymore.

One of the reasons I am so keen to learn this program is to get some of the ideas in my head, onto 'paper' .. in time for the NAHBS. I plan on attending, networking, and generally whoring myself out. I have this vision of the perfect trip to Oregon in February..

I ride to Bellingham on the Bianchi, hop on the train.. I get off in Portland and meet up with friends. We go to the show. I then spend the next week there, couch surfing and visiting bike builder's shops. Then it happens. The Zoobombers kickoff their Minibike Winter Olympics and all hell breaks loose. I'm not looking to top my last years experience, as I doubt I could. I'm more looking to expand upon it, and immerse myself in it deeper. I'm hoping that my love will drive down to meet me and spend the MBW weekend there.. and perhaps we could hit Anvil beach in Astoria on the way back. Can things really work out that perfectly?

I want to come back into Vancouver mid February a new person. With new passion and zazz. This is the start of something really big. Both my head and my heart are exploding right now. ..approaching terminal velocity.

Okay.. Did I cover everything?

Oh.. the ratchet troubles.. This is killing me. I have rebuilt my BMX's skipping ratchet for the second time now, and if my newest solution (a dab of grease UNDER each pawl) doesn't work, I'm going to have to contract someone to make me a new C clip to my dimensions.. either that or go to Princess Auto and caliper up some springs until I find one with the dimensions I need. Or just kill myself. Or buy a new driver and sprocket and go micro (last resort).

I hope to find out Friday, when a bunch of us hoon up Critical mass on twennies=] Video courtesy of The Source)

It seems I was beaten to the punch in the product blogging world.
BSNYC does it better, and I left this in the editron for almost 24 hours.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I'm going to miss this

Liquid Ice hangs in the air.
CABC0308 has lied to me.
5°Centigrade my ass.

There's frost on every car, and the asphalt sparkles under the streetlights. The air is heavy, and it permeates my sweater.
Standing to power up a hill results in a loss of traction.

I nearly collide with a stealth cyclist in John Henry's park. My lights don't seem to reflect off anything. Cars, signs, the Prostitute at Gladsway. They've all got a thick matte finish of nearly frozen condensation.

All six windows of the Corolla behind me are opaque.
It seems to be navigating by my LED alone. Stalking me in 2nd gear.
I wonder what would happen if I turn off my lights.

Normally the fog density is inversely proportional to one's altitude.
Not today. Its thick all the way up until the south slope. ..and I only notice because I realize I can see the infared cameras on the corners of the new McMansion.

I get paranoid about flat tires. I would hate to have to remove my mittens in this.

I'm almost at operating temperature by the time I have to slow my descent

Remember when...

Filed under the category of "remember when...": an indicator on your rapidfire thumb shifters told you what gear you were in? To think that I'm currently in love with friction shifters, having owned a number of bikes with "more advanced" systems, seems archaic in a good way.

Sepia photo of Herb Werthers, currently getting atrophied from lack of use. Let's ride BMX this week!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The CL and the Morons

Andy and I went out to look at one of these peoples' bikes in "Coquitlam". Turned out it was Port Coquitlam, more like Mary Hill Bypass. It was an older Nishiki, which didn't look too bad for a conversion considering what Andy was looking for.

We headed out there, and took the thing for a spin. A significantly dented front 27" steel wheel, making for sketchier than stock braking, and the kicker: a bent left crank arm. I got off the bike, and proceeded to inform the sellers about the problems they had not disclosed.

Since then, Chris the Biking Penguin has hooked Andy up with Raleigh St. Clair, which he is riding regularly and enjoying learning about bike mechanics with. Much better than a misrepresented piece of crap from shady people in shady locations.

The Nishiki that we looked at was later reposted at the exact same asking price with no mention of the bent crank arm. What a bunch of maroons.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

November Rain

Jets of steam are rhythmically expelled from my face as I watch the hand flash. Its solid. 5, 4, 3, 2,.. crank! The last of the left turners scoots through across my path. My front end skips across the grooved intersection like the needle of a turntable bumped by a drunk girl dancing up front. I'm completely out of harms way and halfway down the block when the machine I last challenged cuts in front only to be blocked by another. Around on his left. Its safer this way. The machines in front will not be merging back left, but have an infinitely larger number of opportunities to cut right. Into a parkade, halfway. the nose of another nudges out trying to establish space. I steal that space for 500mS, pet the nose, and continue on. I don't have time to hang around in your line up. If you fit through you wouldn't wait either.

An obscure handsignal as I brake in anticipation of the slick white lines. I lean in, and expectedly both tires have lost adhesion. A quick weight shift, and I'm on the front tire. The back end will have to wait to the end of the corner before it can lay down the power again. This is a bike lane? The manhole covers are just as dangerous as the white lines, thankfully they're mid block. Mid block is blocked by more machines. A south road bar width gap appears and I steal it before its gone. Onto the next.

A fine German machine passes, starboardside. The owner visibly upset that I should be faster than he. Why else would he be charging straight through from a right turn only lane. His machine makes him misbehave. Rather, its the other way around. Given the chance, that machine would rather be on a winding mountain road, with only frost heaves and guardrails to worry about. Instead it is locked into the life of city drudgery at the hands of a master who doesn't understand the physics behind a properly apexed corner. For a brief moment, the German machine's master is triumphant, and can freely accelerate. Three Red brake lights remind him that time is up, and his machine comes to a halt behind an american one. I get a view at this 'master'. He doesn't look happy. He doesn't look like a master of anything. I probably don't look like much to him, So I flash him a large smile and thumbs up. At least I'm enjoying the ride. I'm definately enjoying myself more than he.

I'm also having a better time than the souls trapped in the 135 omnibus. I can see them stewing in their own heat through the glass, as I pass by mere centimeters from them. They cannot feel my presence as they're emersed in the sounds and smells of the diesel and flesh. I hope their leader can sense me, but I don't count on it. I duck as I pass under his mirror. He's now aware of my presence as I accelerate on, past his next group of followers, 0.5watts of light emitting diode pulsing further into the distance.

I'm jolted awake by a pavement seam that caught me off guard. Was I daydreaming, or simply watching the other machines around me? No matter. My machine is a spring, and after the harmonics subside and the rattles cease, everything is stable. I am stable and spinning somewhere in the neighbourhood of 130RPM. Somewhere in the poorest neighbourhood in the lower mainland.

The machines are more docile on this side of the city. Their masters are scared. Scared that those without machines will suddenly do something to put them (or their machines) in peril. Nothing is sudden around here. The zombies move in slow motion. Everything moves in slow motion.

I'm almost out of the heart now. My trip into the city has not been entirely successful from an erranding perspective, but has been perfect emotionally.

So never mind the darkness,
We still can find a way.
'Cause nothin' lasts forever,
Even cold November rain.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

A header quote worth eternalizing.

To start, a couple for the B-tionary.

monstrumental: a combination of monster and instrumental; an instrumental monster.

ratchet: a modern four pawl BMX freewheel, which sounds like a ratchet strapped to your hub.

Herbert Werthers and his older bro the Megatron were monstrumental in the Proj-B summer manual sessions. Lyle and I are both manualing through two lane intersections. Next up, hop to manual - I'm eyeing the north downhill grind box at Confederation Park. Anybody up for a Confederation adventure that doesn't involve John A. MacDonald, contact Project B. The fall air is great while one-wheeling a ratchet through First and Commercial.

What a great time to get your first real BMX; it looks like n1ck is going to be rounding out P-B's fleet of twenties, after respectfually passing up the '98 S&M Next Gen Dirt Bike. That guy deserves a BMX by now, even if he's only most likely to find another nerve ending that doesn't comply with what Cru Jones would have called freestyle riding. Duncan, Mr. 700cmx, has a Fit that n1ck's soon enough acquiring. Too bad it doesn't fit Duncan; I wonder if he'd be better on a bigger frame.

Though I haven't been riding 700cmx lately, I have been geared hooning on the Marinoni, and have decided that I don't want to think about 7 speeds; I want 6: 3 low and 3 high. And, if the deal for the 600 shifters goes through, I'd not have a choice whether I ran friction with a 6-speed freewheel. The seven speed freewheel does dangle in front of me, though I so dislike the still-large range and contrasting black colour (paintable, maybe?) of the 28 tooth big ring. Sometimes makes you want to ride a single speed freewheel, which happens to look like the Sekine's next incarnation - which would be great as a guest bike.

We'll finish up with a quote from Trent, currently seen in the header quote: "in hindsight, hot-knifing shitty allan keys on my stove to burn a hole in my rim tape for the valve stem might not have been the most straightforward solution." Classic, Trent. You're right, the drill probably wouldn't have worked very well either. Nice score on the Drago.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

"unholy and merciless good times"

In this post is my race report from the four horsemen's All Hallows Eve Race, with a few anecdotes along the way. You know it's on when your keys are confiscated at the beginning of a race and you're essentially not allowed to look at anything but the ground for the 5 minutes prior to the start. Who's got my key?!
Thought I'd first post up a recent deal on the CL Bikes: recumberant STATIONARY BIKE (yes, email is the preferred form on communication). What I wonder is whether the mini backhoe has multiple forward and/or backward gears. If anyone would like to enlighten me, may Satan sing your praises.
"this bike was used short term for therapy(6 months), heart rate monitor, several programs of difficulty speedometer"

If only I'd had a several programs of difficulty speedometer for last night's race. The evening's tasks started with a key swap clusterfuck, and ranged from assembling and lighting kerosene torches with a lit menthol dart in the mouth at Prospect Point to an incoherent and babbling sayer on the worst hill on Adanac. All parts of this race were done fully; all players played well.

The people who won were those who made it to that last (and, in scoring, only) checkpoint and worked their asses off getting there. Like Indiana Jones searching and discovering a goblet, the freshly-returned Midnight Simon picked up the elusive Phil Wood low flange hub and 17 tooth 3/32" cog, courtesy of Darren at Dream (a little more on that shortly, though). I'm sure that at least the hub will be put to good use on an upcoming project.

As I just hinted at, the scoring of this race was not in completion of all tasks, but in the completion of a single task. Though Brock didn't hit all the checkpoints, he went hard and even had his pedal go missing during the escapade. He ended up with first prize, a "custom" courier rat style IRO in crashed-up orange.

DFL deservedly went to Rob, who raced on a borrowed mountain bike as, after being screwed by the random key swap, he was given the task of carrying the four-foot upside down wooden cross. As Ranae and I pedaled up the Causeway, we came upon the martyr with an overshifted chain threatening to be jammed into the spokes with any pedal movement. Projektaru-B race team kicked in, and the chain was back on the cassette in 10 seconds flat. At Prospect Point, I remember him yelling "this is why I'm never buying a bike with shocks!" Score: A PAC Bag.

Now, back to Simon's cog score: Why Darren continues to push 3/32" fixed drivetrains is beyond me. With 1/8" drivetrain parts easily available in track lines and compatible with road front rings, would it not make sense to run the strongest chain possible when it's often your only source of deceleration? I'd like to see a better selection of 1/8" 130bcd chainrings, if only for the sweet noise they make.

On the topic of performance, though, my Marinoni performed flawlessly after hinting at withholding use the big ring on the way down to the start. Yes, the new bike is fast - faster than I appear to be able to ascertain just yet; Ranaynay kept up like a champ, even though, as Lyle stated and I responded:

as i knew you riding 5.0 would be Ranae riding 12.3
yeah, so I rode 5.0 and waited when I got far enough ahead
called lights clear for her

With that performance, she could totally be captain of the Asthma Olympics team. Girl pushed for about 35km before a flat ended the night as the group hoon unfortunately lost track of her, 1.6km from the Cobalt at Adanac and Clark.

Fuct Up and Fixed hammered us from start to end, and it was well executed on our end apart from a maligned attempt to hit the "foot of main Bridge at the lions" and a complete overlooking of dialing the reaper (should have called right when we got that manifest).

Of trick or treat, treat seemed to have resulted in some much appreciated chalice and gas mask treatments, while trick was mostly pushups and jiffy marker.

The post-race festivities included a roman candle fueled trackstand contest, only made better by the fact that normal roman candles appear to be made of unobtanium these days, leaving us with giant $4-5 hand-held rockets. Matt A. took it after a smoky dispute over the calling of "one foot" and subsequent showdown with Skylar. Bottle of Wisers to victor.

The ensuing show at the Cobalt had a very appropriate air to it, and was surprisingly mind-clearing. Might be why I listen to a lot of metal, hmmmm. Had yet to see Bison play live - definitely enjoyable.

The Four Horsemen didn't just put on a good show on race night; their wake does the same in the surrounding weeks. The race was cheap (about $10 total), and well worth the ass-kicking it delivered. So far, five pages of drama on fixedvan... kinda makes you wonder, What is Stephen Harper Reading?

Thanks to NikC for results recap, and Damon for photos of the start.


Rhiannon: sorry lyle
that's just retarded!
why would anyone want a STEAM BICYCLE!?!?!
It's not even useful
stonehenge 2 at least provides shade!!!

me: its beautiful and dangerous

Rhiannon: lyle, if you start building steam-powered anything, I'll either marry you or kill you
not sure which yet

me: helicopter.
is there anything more dangerous than a steam powered helicopter?

Rhiannon: steam powered coffee maker?

me: too easy

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by NBC Universal

"Oh shit. You're going to catch on fucking fire, dude."

UCI safety regs be damned, at least two of us ran it. Fucked it up huge, running out to Waterfront Station instead of killing the two Chinatown checkpoints and booking it out to Prospect Point.

At least one of us also aborted the mission upon exclaiming "I don't fucking ride to Commercial and Adanac unless you pay me for it."

Duncan of all people was visibly alarmed at my choice of costume, and I am unrepentant about swallowing a DNF upon reviewing manifest #3.

The last thing I really remember was Kelly shotgunning fireworks into the air behind the Cobalt. And someone left two tall cans of Faxe tucked into my bed.

Friday, October 26, 2007



I'm heading to the Halloween Mass today. Should be a good one. Last year I rode a bit with a sexy enforcement officer, and a cute shepherd. Who knows what this year has in store...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Tim Hortons Raleigh

Filed under: "Must haves in the stable." Tim Horton's Special Edition. Sweet detail shots by chopping a high resolution photo right in the center. To tell you the truth, I'm surprised the word "collector" isn't in the post somewhere. What a steal at $1000!

Monday, October 15, 2007


"After 2 years of testing we are proud to show you the most innovating product of KGB and the best brake system ever for those who like no brakes feelings. Available soon with the normal cable and also with the system for the cable with the 2 brake levers. Worldwide patent by Jukka & Monty (heavy hitters from our patent departement) (Disrespect of this patent will cost you more than 1 dollar by getting new teeth) and we mean it."

The Product is Creative, and they understand innovation breeds imitation. I'll give them that. KGB FLAT.

To me that's funny because I have a certain interest in a product that is currently being straight up COPIED in BMXland. The sick twist is that now that the innovating hub is being high volume manufactured and distributed by Simple, its got quality problems. Where am I going with this? Certainly not to 36Hole anytime this winter. I don't care if KHE makes nice parts.

Design blogs flood the internet. I'm wading through more and more. Can't seem to get out of this state of mind. Must critique and learn from others. I keep thinking about Interbike, and reviewing wrap up reports from random people.

I'm not really sure why I care about bike rack design so much. I use parking meters daily without problems. However, I'm often presented with racks that promise greater security, and ease of use, with a reduced sidewalk footprint. I'm not installing these things out front of my building, so it doesn't really matter to me.

I refuse to believe this is better.

To me, it looks limited.
What if the tire is larger than the fold on the front of the rack?
What if the bicycle uses an unconventional frame design?
Can the bike be inserted in either direction?
A parking meter still wins.

I'm not hating. This is serial. rly srsly. This is my life we're talking about here.

Speaking of which, I'm almost over this cold. Its only hanging on because I don't sleep enough. Full report on the LOW--TIDE & Projekt_B Collabomashup over on their site. Comin' atcha like Dr. Rockso! Ch-Ch-YEeaaahhhh!

This rain has me wanting to ride BMX more and more. Now that I can't, I think about all the times it was dry and I didn't.

Since I'm on the Project-Bialetti and therefore on the complete random, I'll mention I've really been working the angles to get Proj-B into the igloo. Vancouver's only bike friendly indoor ramps.

..and lastly, in order to meet content requirements... Here's Scott Ditchburn riding a bicycle:

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


My body aches, and I didn't even hit the pavement.

After my last posting, the rain stopped, and I managed to get out to New Brighton with my love for a thanksgiving leftover picnic. Red checkered blanket and all. That was nice. I've been drinking a lot of Ginger Tea lately. Not quite the recipe that N1ck uses, but close (ginger root, whiskey, and honey).

Monday was another nice one, and I took the Megatron out after truing up the wheels a bit. Big mistake. I was off my game from the start, and weak like a kitten. Just a 12km street loop wiped me out.

Yesterday was a total writeoff for me. I couldn't do much but watch R edit the crap out of this Seymour Bomb footage. I think it turned out really well.

Oh.. On that note, I've also heard that Ifny is having some medical problems, possibly as a result of her Carcass day injuries. If anyone wants to fill me in, I'd like to hear how she's doing.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Middle School

Well, another rainy weekend.
I've already gone out and gotten soaked once. Its just damp and cold now. We've got 5 more months of this to look forward to.

I've already got all the bikes tuned, and I played with bars a bit:

(Luc-E, about 10 years ago)

If I get bored enough of Youtubing, I might go ride the Cunny on rollers in the garage.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Guys, it's really seriously.

Bikeforums' JayPee has it right. Really Seriously.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Friday, September 28, 2007


I like Velocity.
Great products, and customer service.
..but they really missed the mark this time.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Zoobomb Fever

Vancouver's biggest bike weekend of the year is five days past, and I still can't kick the good vibes. I've had dreams about hanging out with our friends from Portland three nights in a row, and have an uncontrollable urge to ride my mini down big hills. Brandon shot photos on Saturday night, including this one, which even I accuse of photoshop.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Polorobix vs. Going Fast

12.05km, in 00:12:45
Thats 56.7km/h average, on a BMX

Shoutouts to Team Seymour Injury Elite. Hope you're feelin okay.

More photos here

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Hit the street a bit and came home to get my solder on. Morgan came up to bike nerd. We discussed wheel/bar options, with the parts we've got. He decided to bring his tallbike up, for some SF treatment. Its no tracktall (hiptall?), but its looking pretty good. Meanwhile, back at the bench, I got some chipstrips going, and battled the BIOS on a Toshiba laptop.

..and we've got Simon O Brien on the youtube:

Monday, September 17, 2007

Having an average weekend


Blew out N1ck's second Michelin Dynamic while sprinting up the hill after work on Friday. Changed over to Nashbar deathcommuter.

MC3 Hoon ride. I managed to pinchflat my back tire casing up some steps. The ride stopped and waited for me to patch it up. (Awwwwwwww <3 MC3)

I got about 200m further and blew out my front tire. I fell back quietly and fixed it..

Caught up with the ride at the Nautical Museum, and then went for late night burritos, followed by cartoons.

Saturday started out with some hazy Bon's action, not Project Bons mind you, but Bon's none the less. HeyHeyHey.

Then Rhiannon accompanied me on my commute to work. Yes, I was working on Saturday.

On the way up Gladstone, I saw a stroller rolling down the sidewalk, in the opposite direction as we climbed the hill, and it took a moment to register in my brain, and realize that the woman was back at the house 20m away. The carriage was picking up speed too, so I rode across the street, hopped the curb, rode beside it and grabbed the handle... then brought it to a halt.

The baby looked at me inquisitively.

That was weird.

Then after blowing up my laser at work, I hit the streets again to get some bike parts, and check out Haley's new triple triangle Polobike.

Later, I attended a screening of BMX bandits in Ranae's backyard. Pretty terrible movie to be honest. They can't all be rad. Rhiannon took it upon herself to embarass me for 'saving' that baby in peril. I love custom labels on alcohol.

Sunday Paul N hooked me up with an Intense Mag 30/ Ringle wheel to run for the Velomutations weekend. Wow. Intense is right!

The kittenchopper is all growed up now. Ready for serial hooning.
See you all next weekend =D

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Squish (a riddle)

What weighs over 50lbs, has a turning radius of one traffic lane, and can be spotted hooning down stairs in the downtown core?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dr. Skidlove (or how I learned to stop worrying, and love the Octalink)

Back on track.

After hurting my ankle this weekend, (due to my inability to commit) I had been supplimenting my commute with help from Translink. I had also been riding a low geared Bianchi with blown Welgos.

Thankfully it was only a mild impact and the swelling has gone down. This morning I couldn't stand it any more, and I pulled the Cunny down from its hanger in my bedroom. A quick check of the tires/crank bolts (okay, I still worry) some turtle blinkies, and I'm track bike commuting again.

I had to be mindful of my flow in order to not jar anything too much, but I made it down the hill with finesse. Things are lookin up.

I'm getting stoked for Velomutations. Theres a whole lot going down that weekend.

Friday night is Rev. Phil's Bike Porn screening, with a Panty ride to Follow
Saturday night, after a day of ridiculous two wheeled fun (including NikC and Urbancyclist's G'day Mate Hustle)is the Velomutations party.
..and Sunday, we'll be licking our wounds, and licking our Amurican friends goodbye.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ruben Alcantara

Thanks NikC for tipping me off to this.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

No Dancing Allowed

B:C:Clettes in the city of Lost Anglez

Thursday, August 23, 2007


show-usyr-bobs fliers

or colour if you prefer...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Well, not much on the updating tip. Its been sunny and hectic. My favorite B:C:Clette is back in town, and we've been riding quite a bit. There should be many pics but they're not on my camera.

After a minor rear hub issue, and subsequent waranty return, my Cunny is back on the road, and I'm laying down the brakeless miles again. My arms love it. My back is loving the Megatron lately, as Morgan pushes me to hop up more and more steps.

We're just getting prepped for the SHOW_USYR_BOBZ summer island loop right now. I've got a week to get the Bianchi roadworthy.

It needs:
-straight cranks (going back to my old 600s)
-new pedals (better hit the MEC service counter)
-Morgan's bullhorn nashbars (Sorry Jody, the Nitto's are nice, but have too small of an ID)
-a freewheel in case of injury (in place of my high gear)

I always feel like summer ends right after my birthday. Well, this year I'm determined to cram as much summer in as possible. By the way guys, thanks for the birthday concept ride.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Kevin Porter chills

The entire 'Chill Bro' DVD from Empire is on Youtube now.
Its pretty radtastical. I have to say, this is my favorite section.
Kevin Porter has mad style.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Burrito Party, the Party

Things started off with a confused Critical Mass crowd, trying to intermingle amongst Islamic Society tents. The good thing about this, is that the bikes went NORTH from the Art Gallery, instead of the defacto South on Howe that they always do. I messed around with James weeks on his very strange Azonic Freerig, and he showed me a fun disk brake trick.

Once I got my CM fix, I broke off from the mass, to hit up MEC for some last minute trip supplies.

Saturday morning, I was stretching at the Gazebo at 7am, when Brandon rolled up. We were off pretty quick, powering over Ontario to get to the Arthur Lang bridge. From the airport bus loop, we caught a lift to the Ferry terminal. We had JUST missed the 9am ferry passenger cutoff, so we had to wait a bit at the terminal.

Finally on board, we sat outside where it was quieter, and enjoyed our passage to the Island.

We hit the road pretty hard from the boat, and had to draft down the highway for 30km, fighting a ridiculous headwind. Once we got Into Victoria propper, we stopped into the Recyclista shop to say hi. From there we were directed to use the bike paths. We were a little shocked to find out that there was a path all the way from the ferry we could have taken.

We took the Galloping Goose converted railgrade to Esquimalt, to hit the Juan de Fuca rec centre. Wow. Who knew getting across town could be this pleasurable? There were rest stops, view points, tunnels, and stop signs for cross traffic. You can see how happy we are to be off the highway.

Once at the track, we checked out the stands and watched some qualifers from the finish line. Overheating, went went around to the forested area on the otherside of the track. The racing was intense to say the least. The Mens Elite category was probably the fastest I've ever seen a tight pack of riders go on dirt. There were some pretty spectacular crashes when people would bump into each other in mid air, or during a pass in the corners.

While we were watching, Brandon ran into his coworker's daughter (Paige Zarazun), who is now officially 6th 13y/o girl in the world of BMX racing. And speaking of girls on bikes, the Elite women's category didn't disappoint. I particularly liked the girls from France, in their race cut blue and silver jerseys. I was suprised with the amount of crashing in the girls race, they definately weren't racing conservatively. One of my favorite ladies in racing, Anne-Caroline Chausson, was taken out by a teammate in the finals.

After the worlds were won (Kyle Benett riding for Free Agent, and Shanaze Reade for Redline), we headed out, and got back on the Galloping Goose Trail to the Shop.

Triane and her coworker/roomate Milenkovitch then took Brandon and I to check out another fun path into the city. There was an awesome bike bridge over the Portage inlet near Tyee road, and we stopped to get supplies at a grocery store. Malenkovich was a bit worried about locking up, as he was rolling a $4300 demo Norco road bike, but we put him at ease with our bike pile locking skills (N-1 in this case, but still enough)

Its so amazing to be welcomed into the homes of other bikers. Triane and Milenkovitch live in a cute little brick apartment building, nestled in tightly with a bunch of other buildings of the same era. Its very euro. We helped set up, by taking all the spot/christmas lights in the house, (as well as extension cords), and stringing them up across the back yard. Of course, the back yard was just another small courtyard snug between a large brick building, and one that had been torn down with only the face remaining. We then took the tables from the Bean around the World next door, and brought them back to set up the burrito making area.

And then it was a blur of cute biker girls, broken bricks, tasty non traditional burritos, and childhood horror stories.

The next morning we slowly got up and painfully made our way over to the Bean for coffee, then went through Fan Tan Alley to hit Mole for breakfast. Triane had to get to work, so she didn't join us there.

After a brief stop at Recyclista, we made our way North, this time along Lochside trail. It started off with nice railgrade, and a cut in the ravine, then went over Blenkinsop lake before turning into farmland, and older residential neighbourhoods. The path turned to dirt on occasion, and had a lot of bad asphalt, but was really nice overall. It sort of terminates in Sydney, either that or we just lost the scent. It wasn't too hard to figure out though, and we made it to the ferry for the 2pm sailing.

Overall, it was a great trip. I think I need to get out of Vancouver more often.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Off to see the Worlds

Last year, the UCI BMX world championship races were held in Sao Paulo, Brasil.
This year, they're in Victoria, BC, Canada.

This makes me very happy.

I plan to ride out there with Brandon early Saturday morning. We're going to check the sights, watch some dirty racing action, and hopefuly visit some Velo Vixens..

I'll report back after the weekend.

Some footage from last year:

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

In my country, there is problem

Well, there you go, Paul.

David Millar was the first rider to react to the news: "Jesus Christ - there you go, that's my quote," he blurted out. "What timing, huh? This is just f#cking great."

Addressing Irish sportswriter Paul Kimmage, a former cyclist who exposed doping in pro cycling his 1990 book "Rough Ride" and made waves this year when he challenged Vinokourov for working with Ferrari at Astana's pre-race press conference, Millar said, "Well there you go, Paul."

"I wanted to believe it was a really good day [for Vinokourov]. It makes me very sad. Vino is one of my favorite riders. He's one of the most beautiful riders in the peloton. If a guy of his stature and class has done that, we all might as well pack our bags and go home right now."


Morgan: PS: His Wikipedia page is already updated as well.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Sewn Back Together Wrong

The story of the human-machine connection is not an unfamiliar one; our relationships with bikes are forged over many miles in the saddle. As natural as this sounds, becoming connected with a bike and one's every day rides is an often overlooked aspect of riding. Occasionally, the connections are disrupted, and may take a considerable amount of effort to rekindle.

Long before I broke my collarbone, the Sekine was already having appendage-related issues. The original fork's steerer tube was bent from a winter of 700cmx. Its rehabilitation was arduous, but eventually resulted in a Craigslisted low-clearance fork paired with a nice Shimano 600 brake from Mark's stash. I was excited to ride the bike that took me so comfortably through my first winter of bike commuting, with a steepened head tube angle that I thought I wanted.

My high school shop teacher, Gord Gaudet, always used to say "Thought thought he farted but he shit his pants." Well, that statement couldn't be more true in the case of the Sekine. The new fork has favourably quickened the steering, but at the cost of a much more forward riding position that just isn't as comfortable as it used to be. The bike is still rideable, but it doesn't fill the ultra-comfortable fixed-touring niche that it used to live in.

Now that I've given you the context, let's go for a ride. This morning's commute was more eventful than average. I've been straight-shooting it lately: Victoria to Broadway to Fraser. When you regularly ride the same route through the river of conveyance, certain spots stand out - the rapids of the river, if you will. These spots may exist due to topography, infrastructure, or traffic patterns; the fun part is discovering the resistance - least or otherwise - of each path. All of these are interrelated, and weather comes into play as well.

For the topographic variable, the Vic-Bro-Fra route has three big climbs: Broadway from Clark, and two on Fraser from 20th to 25th and 28th to 33rd. A couple highlights of the infrastructure are the bike/bus only lane on Broadway and the deep dump truck tire grooves South of Fra-Kings. Car traffic is slow on Broadway and fast on Fraser. Today's weather: Overcast, 100% wet, but not raining at the moment.

After filtering through the usual backup at CommBro, I closely followed a car through the intersection at Woodland. As we had just passed through an intersection in a bus only lane, I felt at liberty to give him a hearty "What are you doing?" as I passed by his open window. Then, coming up to Clark, the right lane was too packed with buses to filter up. I took the left line and noticed Ryan, resident brace-face, trackstanding behind the buses on his newly assembled Goldilocks.

The frame is spray painted gold, and I can't decide whether it reminds me of a worn out pair of American Apparel lamé shorts, or a gaudy lawn ornament. The lime green fork and stem, topped with the season-appropriate riser bars, have me leaning toward the latter. After a well-executed moving handshake, we flowed up the hill on Broadway.

Ryan, standing up and hammering on his new bike, paced me up the hill as I stayed seated on the Sekine. Though he may have been mile 200 of a double century, I maintain that riser bars are terrible for hill climbing - this coming from a guy who did Mount Seymour on Nitto B123s. A hoonish left turn at Fraser left Ryan to continue to his orthodontist appointment.

I rolled up to 12th Avenue just as the light was changing. In front of me was a performance commuter, who was awkwardly half-standing as his full-suspension Infinity appeared to be absorbing the grooves in the intersection with the agility of a K-Car on blown stock shocks.

At Fra-Kings, there was a lineup of at least five vehicles in the right lane, and only one in the left. One of those five was a full-size garbage truck, which I was not particularly interested in being behind. I chose the left, and ended up riding the gnarliest section of Fraser - the one with the huge dump truck grooves - in the left lane beside a garbage truck. Then, the car ahead of me decided it was turning left. Into the draft of rank stench I went, as the lack of head wind sucked me even closer. I got out and around the truck again when it made a right turn.

Trackstanding at 25th was the first time I stopped on the ride. With a few moments to reflect on the preceding events, I had a relaxing final stretch before beginning my day at work. Seems like business as usual at Project-B.

Looking back, the Sekine was the first road bike that ever fit me perfectly. With a solid, yet forgiving ride, it was a great winter commuting-slash-adventuring bike. I now have the steep track bike that I wanted - which rides more comfortably than the Sekine in its pants-shitting current state. The now-clichéd phrase "stiff, yet compliant" is a feel the bike had, and has lost the latter part of since the fork swap. Conclusion: it needs to go in for a second surgery.

Also on the topic of disrupted connections, the Mielgeot is currently down with a broken rear axle. Ironic, considering the Miele frame's tall bike destiny was decided upon discovery of a broken rear axle. Without getting into the story of how perfectly that bike fits me, I will say that I'm very much looking forward to commuting on it again.

Dethklok's Toki expresses the uncertainty of our ongoing experimentation, saying "we such screwups that he would be sewn back together wrong." Fortunately, we're dealing with bikes, which can be taken apart and sewn back together right if things don't work out the first time.


Friday, July 20, 2007

Dear BMW clownshoe guy,

Thank you for educating me on the dangers of riding in traffic.

I appreciate that you brake check me, after honking, after swerving into my lane without signalling. I also appreciate you taking a picture of me giving you a 'thumbs up' at the next light.

"I ride a bike too, but I don't kill myself! You can't go flying up the centre like that! You're lucky I didn't kill you!"

You're right, I am lucky you (and the 5000 other cars I've been in close proximity with today) didn't kill me. As for 'Flying up the centre', You were the one who was changing lanes from left to right without shoulder checking or signaling. I was occupying the left side of the parallel parking lane for the past 3 blocks. Did you not notice that you JUST barely passed me before that occurred?

I guess not.

I'm glad I was still with your clownshoe at 1st and Victoria, so I could mention that I drive a car too, but I go 30 through playground zones and signal my lane changes.

I hope you enjoy jerking off to my picture tonight, and may your clownshoe bring you true love.

Thursday, July 19, 2007


Tour de Crashtown

Red bricks + Gassy Jack + Hella Carbon + July Rain = VERYNICE

This morning, as I executed a perfect drift left around a roundabout, I wondered what kind of tires those racers were running. Do they have multiple sets of ZIPPs ready to go with different tires. Would they use something as bourgeios and 'slow' as a Micheline speedium?

Some guys were cornering on their outside pedal, while others were in the saddle, kneeing in. Two very different techniques. This interested me somewhat. Is the center tread any better in the rain? Are they afraid to tilt the bike? Wouldn't sitting over those bumps make things LESS stable?

..and another thing thats on my mind. Is it wrong that the sight of a dirty, wet, female racer in ripped lycra, limping back to the staging area turns me on?

I don't think that race would have been nearly as fun if it were hot and sunny.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

STOLEN: Grey 2005 Norco Six full-suspension MTB

Late-model (2005?) Norco Six, mostly stock
Grey frame, black single-crown forks
Black Truvativ bars/stem/cranks
Sram derailleur

Stolen from my home in Mount Pleasant at approximately 8:00pm, Saturday, July 14th.

Mid-30's male suspect, approx. 5'8" tall, short black hair, possibly asian or aboriginal, wearing a white T-shirt.

Please keep an eye out, and remember to keep your windows closed.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007


20InchWestVanBomb last night.
Cassettes no longer sound like rotaries, more like high speed tinnitis.
Elevation drop to make the ears pop.
Ambleside senior reminds us about signage.
Little bikes rocking, we pull on commuters going over the bridge.
Gravity bomb through Stanley park has us perfecting tuck stability.
A drunkfight breaks out at English bay, spills onto Pacific, then trudges along, and keeps going, we watch from the shade.
We hit Sinclair Centre bank for some rollback tech, too drunk to fuf.
South on Carrall, I hoon gap the safety tape.
We make our way up to Granview to see the Polo people in fine form, and get our donair on.
Sailor has us manual jousting for his entertainment.
We're fighting it.
We're done.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Hoon is Bike month

I haven't been blogging much lately. Mostly just poking around the internets and echoing the Youtubes available to me.

Well, its time for an update.

I just got back from a screening of BIKE (okay, this is old news already) and I'm all fired up. I want to ride, but the crowd was dissipative, and went their own ways.

Thats the way it is on bikes. we roll alone, we meet briefly. we roll apart. Sometimes we're held together and it can be a really great thing, other times its not needed.

BIKE was all about this theme. this inclusivity, this cohesiveness. this exclusivity. This love.

Tony, the film maker, spent a year and a half trying to get into NYC's Black Label bike club, and they wouldn't have him. They wouldn't have him because they didn't trust that he wanted in for the right reasons.

I've got a lot of things on my mind.
Amy brings up the bikesphere and triggers deep feelings.

"What is your main concern in the bikesphere"

Self Preservation? I talked about myself. Are we all so selfish? I want to see the community grow and thrive, but I just focus on keeping myself in running order.

I don't know where I'm going with this. This love.

Just tonight I met a guy who works in the bicycle industry. (also old news) On the mountain bike side of things. I'm curious to talk to him more. One thing he said, was that it has to be done for the love.

Also recently, I was up North, doing Projekt-B field work, and met a guy named Phillipe, who has single handedly brought bike culture to Whitehorse. He's a bike mech, he's an artist. He's changing the landscape for the better. He lives above his shop, he's doing it for the love.

It makes me wonder just where this Project will take me. Probably to the world of High fashion

Choppers, modifications.
On a human scale, its not dangerous.
Because 50km/h is not dangerous.

Where was I? Its a week later, and I just cant get this blogging thing right. Originally, this blog entry was supposed to be posted early morning on Sunday. However, that didn't pan out. Then I got busy with commuting and Solidwerking, and well, here we are at the weekend again. Except is Thursday. (or Monday, fuck)

I guess I've been watching a bunch of bike movies lately. I just got back from the Bike Shorts screening. There were 14 videos. ] Including Wendell Challenger's long line of cars. There was a great time lapse flatland one on an airstrip, and we even got to see Morgan take his pants off! One of my favorites was a 'post apocalyptic' story about THE BREATH, and how hard a good bike pump was to come by. Sadly, in this future, people are still getting killed for oil. I'm reall glad I went to this event.

So this week in bikes, I put new 600 cranks on the Bianchi, except they're not new. They're older than the ones I had, and they're shorter. I can only hope they're not just on long term loan. I also got into the dirty dirty with a middle aged guy in a minivan. I shouldn't pick on them. Its been relatively dry, so I've been rolling the Cunny to work most days. Thats right, you're Health and Safety representative is riding the brakeless unicorn. A cop spashed me with a mud puddle Tuesday. It wasn't even raining. I think he aimed for it. its just a 30cm diameter hole in Union street, that he MUST know contains muddy water. Right in the face, all over my jersey. I'm trying to catch up in kilometerage to my normal months this year, but I think I've already taken about 7 days off the bike. That really affects the numbers. I'm a nerd. pie chart. [650km total for the month]

This weekend promises to be crazy. I'm starting off with Midnight mass tonight. I better decide which bike to roll, and soon.

Tomorrow I'm going to hit the big June Critical Thrash

Edit: rain, drown rat.

I've slept, but it still feels like I've been up forever. The rainy MM, the out of control Critical mass, The scarface, the BBW, The race. its all a bit much. This guy is a writeoff. He drifts in and out of conciousness. Not sure how he rode a bike. 8.0 hoon.

Non Biased CTV mass footage:

Paris Hilton's Big Day Out, Cooper Park Checkpoint:

Edit: I think I'm ready to go back to work. edit.

Thursday, June 21, 2007